Turn down the lights
by kfic1988
Summary: First attempt at fanficton. Bella cant take the pain and leaves her love behind. a story of love and angst of the wolfiest kind.
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys, this is my first attempt at fanfiction so I hope you like, please try it and let me know. Thanks.

P.S. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters im just messing with them.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed

Turn down these voices inside my head

Lay down with me, tell me no lies

Just hold me close, don't patronize

Don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me If you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark in these final hours

I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

And I can't make you love me

If you don't

I'll close my eyes and then I won't see

The love you do not feel, when you're holding me

Morning will come, and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then, to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

And I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

And here in the dark in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no, you won't

And I can't make you love me

If you don't

Ain't no use in you trying

It's no good for me baby without love

All my tears, all these years, everything I believed in

Baby

Oh yeah

Someone's gonna love me

~ Bonnie Raitt

Bella brushed her fingers over his beautiful bronze face, sweeping up his strong jawline and fine cheekbones and finally curling into the familiar comfort of his silky ebony hair. He was so peaceful like this. perfect even.

But she couldn't do this any more, tears tracked her face as that realisation hit, she adored him, god oh so much but it wasn't enough. never was. never would be. he had crawled into her bed at 4 am "just to hold her" and then promptly passed out drunk and reeking to high heaven of other women. Again. Bella was so stupidly in love with him that she just snuggled into his chest and cried as quietly as she could to the backdrop of his strong beating heart. but this kept happening

more and more, in the past few weeks something had changed, he already had a wicked temper but now it was quick and cruel. Last night he had finally dragged himself home at 11 pm to find her waiting with a meal that she had cooked hours previously, his response to her tears and accusations was to hurl the carefully prepared meal – his favourite – at the wall behind her. She fell to the floor and sobbed while the china plate and meal dripped and smashed onto the floorboards. He had looked at her fire burning in his eyes and shaking badly, turned on his heel and left and hadn't returned until 4, no apology, no remorse just a slurred "I jus' need to holds you bel", he hadn't even noticed her things were packed.

With a sigh she sat up and looked down on him. _Stop doing this to yourself_, she berated herself, _he doesn't love you and you cant make him, its been 6 months, just leave while you can, neither of you are happy. _She leaned down and brushed his temple with a loving kiss, Tears of her shattered heart landing in his hair like dew and then fading into the silky blackness.

"I love you, no matter what, you hold my heart, but I cant do this any more baby I tried. I tried so so hard" she whispered brokenly against him.

Climbing out of bed and dressing as quickly as possible before the morning light started to filtered in and woke him she grabbed her bags, and quietly shut the door with a snick that was so final it might as well of been a sonic boom.

She whispered into the darkness.

"Goodbye Paul".


	2. Chapter 2

Hi guys thanks for the reviews, I'm really thankful for your support and I hope this second chapter doesn't disappoint. I would just like to point out that Bella doesn't know about the wolves yet, but all the guys including Jacob are now phased and the Cullens are not part of the story... yet. Let me know what you think :-)

P.S. I do not own the characters Stephenie Meyer Does.

When the tears fall away  
And there's no conversation  
There's nothing left to break  
That's not already broken

You're staring into space  
And every inch of silence  
Been standing here for days  
And days

Said it all  
Nothing to say at all  
Nothing to say that matters  
Haven't we heard enough

Said it all  
Nothing to say at all  
Nothing to say that matters  
Doesn't matter, anymore  
~ Take That

Driving through the Rez that had become her second home Bella's head was spinning with all the thoughts trying to burst from her doubt riddled mind. turn around go back, you need him..._ No no no! He doesn't love you, he doesn't even care, how can he when he dares to come to you smelling of them! … but maybe there's and explanation, maybe we should go back and … and what? He'll say he fell into some random girls pus … But I love him … He doesn't love you …_

The poisonous thoughts kept on going beating at her, making her want to scream. Her and Paul had never had a conventional relationship but they worked. Bella had came home last summer after her flighty mother Renee had married a minor league baseball guy closer to Bella's age than her own. Phil was nice and Bella got along with him but she didn't want to move from place to place again, so she came back to be with her stable father Charlie, who she adored. That's when she had met Paul, She had gone down to La Push to hang out with her best friend Jacob while Billy and Charlie had watched the game. Walking into the small homey kitchen she had fell over a tool box and had been grabbed by a hot, hard hand "Watch it, clumsy pale face" she had heard barked at her but when she turned around to apologise she got caught up in the most stunning gaze she had ever seen. Eyes like the darkest most indulgent coffee mixed with golden honey and topped with the tiniest sprinkle of crushed emeralds look back at her. And she was frozen. They **Both** Were. They stared at each other for the longest time "I'm Paul" he announced all strong but silky, holding out his large hand, she had moved her gaze over his body, he was like a bronzed god all beautiful muscles and dark golden skin. And then there was his face, perfect proportions, Chiselled cheek bones, and a perfect nose. Beautiful full lips turned up into a hauntingly sensual-but-cruel smirk, finished off with those eyes and a gorgeous sweep of silky black curls. He was everything. "Isabella, b-but call me Bella " she had managed to squeak out, her smaller pale hand dwarfed by his own, He had slowly snaked his hand out of hers and up her arm, across her shoulders, raising goosebumps as he went, finally cupping her neck as if she was made of the most precious spun glass. "Its a pleasure to meet you _Isabella_" he had murmured out her name like the most seductive prayer "ill be seeing you around little pale face".

And he had, almost everyday since the moment they had first met. They had laughed together, fought together, made up together. And then Jake had disappeared, she called and called, begged Paul to tell her what was going on but he refused, told her to stay out of it. He'd gone into jealous fits of rage and accused her of wanting Jake. In hindsight she wish she had left it alone. She hadn't seen Jacob in weeks and Paul in days and she was fed up of being kept in the dark. She had stormed down to confront Jake and had ended up slapping Paul across his arrogant face when he approached her with the rest of his stupid gang and coldly dismissed her in front of everyone "Fuck off Bella, go home and play with your little pale face friends where you fucking belong!" Jake had started to shake her lips trembled and tears had flirted on the edges of her eyelashes, humiliated and already angered she had slapped him, got into her truck and left.

And that's when the problems began, He would hurt her, she would cry, he would apologise and hold her, they would make love and then he would leave again. It was a vicious cycle that kept on and on. She couldn't sleep, barely ate and suffered from panic attacks. But the worst thing, the very worst, was the women. And there were so so many of them. Paul had always been a player, Bella knew that from the outset, but she had thought they were different, thought that he _**loved**_ her. He would look at her like she was everything, Just everything, his moon, his stars, his whole world and he would hold her like she was so precious to him, like someone could take her away at any time. But then her would come to her after disappearing for hours, days sometimes, smelling of _**them**_ of their cheap perfume, their horrible greasy lipstick stains of his skin, on his clothes and that's when she wanted to scrape the skin from her body, and that's what she did, the morning after he would hold her, apologise for keeping her waiting and leave and she would curl up in a ball in the corner of the shower and scrub her skin to the point sometimes that it bled.

Pulling up at her house in Forks she knew this was the right decision, she had to leave him, and god if it didn't break her heart. Grabbing the few items of sentimental value and all the cash she had she ran back to her truck as quick as she could, she didn't have much time because when Paul found out, and there was no doubt that he would. Soon. He would find her. He _**always**_ managed to find her and Bella wasn't kidding herself if, if he did, he would hold her, and she would take him back and this would all start again. And she couldn't do that now there was more than herself to think about now in this tangled mess.

Mind made up she flung the truck door open when a hot hand grabbed her wrist "Bells" they breathed out "where do you think your going at this time in the morning" taking a deep breath Bella turned and plastered a fake smile on her face "Jakey, hey I was just gonna run some errands, early bird and all that jazz" but it was a pathetic attempt to cover her anxiety because he frowned "your lying to me bells, whys all your stuff in the truck?" she sighed and hung her head pathetically "I'm leaving Jake, I cant be here any more". "YOU WHAT! You cant just do this to HIM bells to US! Have you even though about how this will affect him! He will go fucking ape when he finds out!" Jake roared at her and that's when the thin band holding her all together finally snapped and she burst into heart wrenching sobs, shocking Jacob, her best friend since childhood to silence, he'd never seen her break down. Never. "Hey, hey honey" he crooned at her "C'mon, nothings that bad, calm down and well talk about it" He noted that she had started to relax in his hold "there we go honey come on ill take you to Paul and" - "NO! No i'm leaving I cant do this any more Jake I love him, I love him so fucking much but i'm tired and it HURTS it hurts so bad, the fighting at the late nights and the women Jake, Oh my god the other women"... Bella's head span, as she threw her guts up against the driveway, Jake rubbing her back softly "what are you talking about honey" his voice was soft but she heard the steely undercurrent of anger. Standing shakily and getting into the truck Bella turned to her friends desperate expression "At least tell me where your going Bella, I need to know that you will be safe". " No, Jake i'm sorry I cant, you'll tell him and I cant let that happen, ill be back I promise. This is my home, Your my family, I just need some space. Take care of him OK, and yourself. Love you Jakey."

And with that final command Bella pulled out of driveway and took off, not even a minute later Jacob phased, beginning the bone breaking transformation into the huge russet wolf letting out a mournful howl.

She was gone.

Paul was a dead man.


End file.
